Last fall I went through a pretty hellacious breakup. So, to amuse myself in those dark days, I went looking for something fluffy and stupid to read to get my mind off more disturbing things. I found the Twilight series just before the first movie came out, and to my eternal shame, I read all four in just a few weeks. It's actually sort of fascinating that I tore through them the way that I did, because they are probably the worst books I've ever read in my life. "Twilight" manages to exist on several levels of annoying all at once.
1. They aren't vampires. They are emo kids with a lust for blood... no wait... not blood,... a lust for ABSTINENCE! Because they are good people, except for that having no soul part. This is what happens when crazy Mormons decide to write a bestselling book series. Oh, and the vampires can be seen in mirrors. And they *SPARKLE* in the sunlight. If you expect ANY normal vampire convention to apply, prepare to have your mind broken. On a related note...
2. There are plot holes you could drive three or five semi-trucks through. Again, don't try to have it make sense. It won't work, and you'll be the one hurting.
3. Bella is just a shell of a character, loosely written so all young girls craving to be with "the bad boy" can experience it vicariously.
So, when the movie came out, I went to see it, mainly because I was busy looking at the eye candy and paying absolutely no attention to the plot. Catherine Hardwicke actually improved on the material quite a bit, and made it tolerable to watch, especially if you weren't paying too much attention. Getting rid of her as the director for the second movie was a huge mistake.
Laurie asked me to go to the second movie last week, and while I expected it to be pretty awful, I wasn't really quite prepared for the level of awful that it dished out.
"New Moon" slavishly follows the book, almost scene for scene. A faithful adaptation would normally be a good thing for a transition from book to movie, but unfortunately, it's the worst book of the whole effin' series because Edward breaks up with Bella, and she spends the whole movie in a self-indulgent depression, when she's not doing stupid stuff to get herself killed so that she can "hear Edward's voice *oooooOOOoOOO!*"
*gags*
If it could just stay on the level of vacuous eye candy, I would be okay with it. It's no classic of literature, by any means (and let's not even talk about how Stephenie Meyer says she was influenced by Jane Austen and the Brontes', because the fact that she churned out such drivel after reading books that are a million times better than the shlock she's gotten insanely rich for,...that just makes me really angry).
No, the reason that I decided to post this little diatribe is because days after I have seen the movie, there are things about it that really, really, really bother me. I feel deeply disturbed that Bella, Edward, and Jacob are put forth as these romantic ideals because they put out the wrong kind of message to young girls.
I worry about these things because I don't want little girls like my friend Meribeth's daughter (who is ten years old) to think that she has to have a man to validate her existence. It's true. Bella goes from one monster to another in "New Moon," because of her need for protection and validation. She can't have the manipulative, controlling vampire, so she falls for the violent, also controlling, werewolf instead. She has nightmares after Edward dumps her where she wakes up screaming. Because when we are in love, we always have traumatic dreams that make us wake up screaming. We always need to use other men as crutches when someone breaks our heart.
But the scene that sticks out the most after all of this time and still makes me upset is the birthday party scene where Bella cuts her finger. To protect her, Edward THROWS HER INTO A WALL, so hard that she gets a deep cut in her arm. This is where I call bullshit. If vampires are supposed to have super speed, couldn't he have just pulled her AWAY from the scene quickly before the feeding frenzy? But oh no. In the interest of "protecting her," he hurts her more than he could imagine. When he later dumps her, he says a lot of things that he doesn't believe, because he thinks that he is protecting her... from himself.
Just for all the girls out there, an important note:
Anyone that tells you that the pain that they are causing you is in your own best interest, is full of shit, and not much loss, be they man or the sparkliest of sparkly vampire. This kind of declaration shouldn't be met with tears and endless depression, but anger and a feeling that you deserve much better than that kind of fake love. Love never abandons people or hurts them in some kind of selfish self-interest. Love sticks it out and makes things work, rather than mooning about star-crossed lovers and hurting others for their own ultimate good.
When Edward comes back at the end of the story, he apologizes for "failing" Bella and swears he'll never do it again. And, since they have a *deathless love* she takes him back, and I just don't see how that isn't a bad example for other girls, especially ones that are already in abusive relationships.
Love should never have to hurt, emotionally or physically.
And now I'll get down off my soapbox.
Thank you, and goodnight.
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